Saying Goodbye

Well. Seeing as I graduated over two weeks ago, it is about time that I write my final blog post for senior year. If I am being honest, I have been putting this post off for a while. I thought that senior week and walking across the stage would help me move forward and begin "adult life" but honestly, I felt the same after walking across the stage as I did before.

So. I will start with senior week. This week was a wonderful week and I don't know why more schools don't incorporate it into their graduation schedule. Yes, I spent a lot of money on going out and meals and whatever else. Yes it was frivolous. Yes I did not sleep at all and probably gained 15 pounds, but I am so grateful to have had this week. I cannot imagine having to say goodbye to the people that have become my family immediately after finals. This week allowed us to gain some closure on the fact that a very significant chapter in our lives would soon be ending.

Some highlights of senior week include the 3 bar crawls I was able to go on, beer olympics with my friends (and winning flip cup with Augusta for Hispaniola), random house parties, Worlds of Fun, and baccalaureate before graduation. I would be lying if I said that the entire week was bliss, but I can say that I had a blast and I was allotted time to truly enjoy the people who have made Creighton so special.

This past year has been such a beautiful experience. I traveled all over the country for a variety of excursions. I made the best friends I could ever ask for. I pushed myself to new academic heights and I gained a stronger sense of self. As cliche as it may sound, I loved and lost, laughed and cried, lost friends, but gained many. I formed a strong bond with the wonderful women of #bluehearts and gained even more confidence to pursue everything that I am passionate about. I no longer fear entering a situation where I have little or no control (which is a big deal for me). I have more appreciation for strong friendships enjoying the moment. I now know how immeasurably blessed I am to have gone to Creighton with all of its ups and downs.

Leaving Creighton was not and still is not easy, but I look to my friends who graduated in the past 3 years and they seem to be making it the best way that they know how and that gives me the confidence I need to know that I will be okay. Here's to all of the people that made Creighton and most importantly this past year what it was. You all have a special place in my heart and I am forever grateful for your presence in my life.

Though I may be writing the final lines to an amazing chapter of my life, I know that many more lines will be written in many chapters to come.

Paz,
Sarah

The Half-Marathon

Over the past couple of years, I decided that I wanted to run a half marathon. For whatever reason, I never got around to it. Sometimes other things conflicted, or I missed the sign up, or I was simply to nervous to do it, but I finally signed up and ran a half this past Sunday with one of my best friends (Anna) and her twin sister (Angela).

Our last training run

Not to sound cheesy, but running this half was quite the journey for me. We signed up in the beginning of January and we had a group of 6 that we were supposed to run with. Due to extraneous circumstances, people ended up not running and that was slightly discouraging. Also, life seemed to get in the way and I could not always get the right training runs in or enough training runs in. My cross-training also totally fell through which meant that I wasn't as physically strong as I had hoped to be, but regardless of all of this, the half was a learning experience. I learned what works well in training and what doesn't. I learned that long runs are not as scary as I thought they would be. I learned that things like a half take a lot of time, energy, and dedication, but most importantly I learned that if I set my mind to something, I truly can do it and it can be enjoyable.

The home stretch with my (not so) impeccable form

While I was running, I was surrounded by both runners and supporters for the entire 13.1 miles. People who didn't even know me were cheering me on which was something I did not expect. Also, my best friend from high school, her mom, and two of my college best friends came out and met us throughout the race to cheer us on. Also, I received texts in the morning to wish me well. These moments are what I am most grateful for. To know that I have people in my life who would take the time out of their day to come support me while I was completing something major that was also making me nervous took my breath away and also helped me finish.

The medal and sticker (not pictured) made it all worth it

I have always wanted to run a half marathon and while my knees are still a little tender, I had such a wonderful experience (except for mile 9, that was pain I cannot explain). Long distance runs are also a bit addicting so I signed up for a five mile run on memorial day and will be doing a full marathon in Chicago on October 11th (follow this link and fund my run for the charity I am running for: http://mercyhomehero.com/i/sarah-kelly#.VUjsK_lViko).  Running is an integral part of who I am and I am glad to have finally made this great accomplishment and to have done so surrounded by loved ones.

The best training partner there ever was.

Nearing the End

I realize that I haven't written anything in quite some time, but that is because I have had a difficult time formulating how the end of this semester has been going. A lot of truly wonderful things have happened. We began celebrating one of our best friend's marriages with her bachelorette party, I became a Kappa alum, we had our formal, and I presented my first independent research project three times. Luckily I have been able to enjoy these experiences because the bulk of my work for the semester had to be turned in by mid-April. Essentially the last few weeks have been relatively smooth sailing.

My one picture from Shannon's bachelorette party

While I have been trying to relish in each moment, I have also been trying to understand how I am feeling about the fast approach of graduation. In 4 days, I will be running my first half marathon with one of my best friends. In 2 months and 10 days I will be moving away for an indefinite period of time for the first time in my life. This will be the first time that I am out of school and its honestly just strange. I have a few friends who are post-grad and they all talk about how they are fine and everything will be fine, but I also know that the first year out can be really hard.

research with the best

However, I am lucky that I know it will be hard. Yesterday I had to run some errands and spent a little bit of time outside and I was able to realize just how much I appreciate Creighton. It hit me like a bus, but I have realized just how lucky I am to have the friends, mentors, and family that I have. I would not have become the human that I am today without the Dominican Republic, residence life, the CCSJ, Kappa and every other moment in between. Has it been easy? Of course not. It wouldn't have been worth it if it was easy.

Senior formal with the senior class <3

In one of my capstones yesterday, Father Gillick talked to us about how God wants us to be and how really God doesn't have a plan. He explained to us that God simply wants us to be human beings. Being human means recognizing that we are selfish and that we are going to feel pain and that we are never going to be complete, because only God can complete us. Success won't complete us. Money won't complete us. Finding the perfect life-partner won't complete us. Yes, these (un)freedoms will contribute to a false sense of security, but at the end of the day, we don't know what will happen tomorrow. The only thing we can do as humans to be truly human is learn how to love unconditionally and do our best to live selflessly while recognizing that we are going to mess up sometimes. While a lot of what Father Gillick had to say would anxiety-inducing for a lot of people, I (an anxiety ridden person) felt a sense of ease after what he had to say. Recognizing that perfection can never be achieved and that all God wants is to see us try is oddly comforting.

Earth day = best day (and everyday)

So. Tomorrow is my last ever day of classes. I have one more test (for aerobics) and one more presentation (for art class) and then I will be done. Though I am in no rush, graduation is in 2.5 weeks, but I think I will be ready when it gets here. I am forever grateful for the people and the experience I have had at Creighton. All of them, even those that made me uncomfortable or made me feel pain because I have grown.

End sappy post.

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front by Wendell Berry

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion - put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front" from The Country of Marriage, copyright © 1973 by Wendell Berry, reprinted by permission of Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, Inc.

Rediscovering Restlessness

This semester has been a bit of an odd one for me. For a while I was not feeling quite like myself and it took a trip halfway across the country for me to figure it out.

About a week and a half ago, I was able to enjoy the privilege of presenting my research at the Society for Applied Anthropology meeting in  Pittsburgh. Though my presentation was one small part of a massive conference, I felt very alive the entire weekend. I was surrounded by like-minded individuals who renewed my faith in my abilities as a student and as a human being. I was able to see the vast array of opportunities within Anthropology and beyond while being surrounded by individuals at all points of their Anthropology journey from undergraduate students like myself to Merrill Singer, an Anthropological celebrity. I entered this trip thinking it would be a "good experience" and a "learning opportunity" but for me it amounted to so much more and I am so glad that I went.

SETH HOLMES - fan-girling 

My research. 

Augusta's research 

Easter was also quite interesting. I learned what it was like being a single child - which I have no desire to do again - but I was also able to consider some interesting topics. One major part of Easter weekend in the Christian faith is renewing one's baptismal vows. I had never paid all that much attention to it before, but this year I decided to really listen. Afterwards, I felt compelled to consider what other promises I have made myself and to renew those as well. A few are listed here:

1. Take care of your health - run, yoga, meditate, bike, hike, lift, eat healthily - your body is your mechanism of achieving dreams and helping others.
2. Pray intentionally.
3. Practice vegetarianism.
4. Practice forgiveness.
5. Have an attitude of gratitude - think of a  handful of things you are grateful for everyday.
6. Honor commitments.
7. Sleep.
8. Practice patience.
9. Release anger.
10. Listen for God's call and respond passionately and dutifully.

These are just a few, but are food for thought as well. I feel at peace and am enjoying this present moment.

My one picture from Easter

Seeds

That is the name of this short film which was produced by two young men whom I am fortunate enough to call my friends and whom I admire immensely:

https://vimeo.com/120817795#at=1766

As I watched this film for the second time, I was overwhelmed with emotions about how much I appreciate, love, and owe this program. After being a participant, coordinator, and core team member, I can say that this program has changed my  life for the better. It has given me direction in my passions and my own discernment process for my future.

Watch it. Love it. Appreciate it.

I have and I always will.

When Class Turns into a Therapy Session

Though I really don't have time to blog right now, my last class was rather inspirational for a blog post and I haven't blogged in a while so here we go.

This semester I am fortunate enough to be taking one of the most coveted honors classes: Imagination to Invention. A lot of people see this class as an easy A, there really is not a lot of reading, and if I am being honest, we draw half of the time. All of this being said, I think that if people are truly engaging the material presented, they can learn a lot about themselves, how they think, and how to apply that to the world that they live in.

Before spring break we did a lot of activities involving our Meyers Briggs scores (I am INFJ (or INFP according to my prof)) and we did a simulation of handling chaos. Now that we are back from spring break, we analyzed our chaos activity in accordance with our Meyers Briggs scores and the five stages of death and dying. The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Often times when experiencing times of chaos like poor personal health news, break ups, job changes, etc, people will go through the stages of death and dying. This is something that I knew, but what I didn't realize is that according to your Meyers Briggs score, you may get stuck in one of the stages. Because I am NF, my professor said that I am likely to find myself stuck in the depression stage.

This for me was life changing - and this is not an exaggeration. Recently I have experienced my own form of chaos in my life and a feeling of dull sadness has been present ever since. I breezed right through the denial, anger, and bargaining, but have been sitting in sadness. It really sucks. However, my professor found a way to help me. By knowing that my predisposition to depressive tendencies is simply a part of my personality, I suddenly feel okay. Yes, I am still sad. I will be sad, but this sadness does not define me nor will it last forever. My professor, without even realizing it, was able to help me manage my sadness and I will be grateful to her for that for a long time.

No need to worry about me. I will keep on keeping on and I have wonderful friends and family to support me through this moment of chaos.

In other news, spring break is over which means that I was able to spend 9 beautiful days with 7 of my best friends. We went to Miami for the week and then spent St. Patrick's day in Chicago. I was able to see an old friend that I have not seen in a long time and I was able to explore the city where I will be living next year. Overall, break was wonderful and now I need to remain present to the end of my undergraduate experience.