Merp.

So. If you know me, you have heard me say the word merp before. Merp is a word that I use when times are slightly frustrating and to my dismay, this week has been slightly frustrating. Now, normally on a blog I wouldn't whine, but if I want this blog to be an authentic representation of my life, I have to recognize that things aren't always going to happen the way that I want or expect.

Anyway, as my last post stated, last Wednesday I finally joined the 21 club and Wednesday was truly a beautiful day. I was in class and meetings from 8:25 am to 5:00 pm, but I didn't mind because I am fortunate to be taking courses I love and the meetings I had were for organizations that I truly care about. Afterwards, I went to Roja with my brother and two close friends to enjoy my first legal drink and enjoy it I did. I proceeded to go to my sorority chapter in a very great mood and was elected to the Academic Excellence committee so kudos to me. That night I went out with some of my closest friends and finished the evening with a quesarito (which is God's gift to mankind if you did not know yet).

The next day is when things start to get merpy. Basically, I currently am in a weird transition and I don't quite know how to manage it. While I love being an RA, being a member of Core team, and being in Kappa, I am now beginning to realize that all of these things will cease to exist as I know them in a matter of months. I am being challenged by senior year in ways that I did not expect. For example, as an RA I expected the year to begin similarly to the way it did last year, but a lot changes in twelve months. I am an RA for freshmen women and to state it simply, I am in a much different place than my residents are. They are at the cusp of discovering who they want to become and are starting relationships that will last them a life time while I am trying to live up to the expectations I have developed for myself and trying to cope with the fact that in May, my core group of friends will no longer all be in one place. I am preparing to leave Omaha for an indefinite period of time which scares me more than I would like to admit and all the while I am trying to manage through a couple of falling outs that I never foresaw.

All of this being said, I am grateful for my position in life. I have been surprised this year by how much I can count on the people in my life and by how much I have grown. Three years ago when I started at Creighton University, I was incredibly naive, quiet, and self-conscious. I am currently rather audacious and driven with big dreams that I know I can achieve. I just have to get through the merpy parts of life first.